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Thursday, 26 July 2012

Anita De Bauch vs Kate Moss

My agency sent me off on a rather exciting casting at the Groucho Club today for a job with a popular artist whose work explores and plays with the idea of "sleb" culture and how easily we can be misled by media representation of the "real" world, using only lookalikes of celebrities rather than the celebrities themselves.

This particular project involves making a super-realistic sculpture of Kate Moss and then photographing her with it. The artist saw my photos and measurements and wanted to see if I could be used to cast Kate's torso :)

  L - R: me, Kate Moss

All very flattering for me, of course, but gosh, the last 18 hours have been a bit of a nightmare!

It all began with me idly Googling "kate moss measurements" to see if I was an exact match or merely a very close match, only to discover that she was about an inch smaller all over than I thought she was. I then measured myself in front of the bathroom mirror and discovered that I was an inch bigger all over than I thought I was. Whether or not it was down to it being that time of the month was irrelevant. The casting was in 12 hours and I had 2" to lose on my bust, waist and hips!

I immediately took a probiotic, a milk thistle and a magnesium supplement with a glass of lemon water sprinkled with cayenne pepper. At my boyfriend's suggestion, I slept in a thermal vest with a blanket on top of the duvet to sweat out some water retention overnight. It worked- by morning I had lost an inch all over.

I then did some pilates to flatten my stomach with a cup of hot lemon water then had my breakfast smoothie sans banana and in a very hot Dead Sea salt bath to try and extract some more toxins. This was followed by organic coffee, whitened with coconut water, sprinkled with cinnamon and cocoa powder and served with lots of organic carrot sticks. After all this, I'd lost another inch on my bust and hips but still had one more to go round my waist- I was at 25" instead of the "correct" measurement of 24". I stayed in a tightlaced corset until I left for the casting and hoped that would at least mitigate it!

When I arrived at the Groucho Club I took some topless shots with the artist so she could record what I looked like. She said she'd been having real trouble finding someone both very slim yet not too muscular. I promptly sucked my stomach in to hide my extra inch, but apparently that made my ribs stick out too much, so I don't think I got the job :(

Life is surreal, isn't it? I never thought I'd be writing, "Dear Diary, Today I was turned down for the Kate Moss body double job at the Groucho Club because I'm too boney", but there you are. I feel silly whinging about it, even, but then, this is my blog, and I really wanted this job, it looks so cool :(

Anyway, onto positive things! I'm off to Scotland tomorrow to shoot at Barrie Spence's place and then on Monday I'm shooting a fantastic Klimt-inspired underwater art project with Ivory Flame. I've been wanting to shoot with her for literally years, so having her teach me how to model underwater will be a real treat! I've ordered some floaty skirts to wear as I think they'll look cool; hope they arrive in time!

Anyway, must dash! Sorry for the moaning, I hope you don't mind! My next blog will be much happier, I promise :)

Lots of love,

Anita xxx