So, I decided not to go ahead with the boob job.
This is my "deep thought" face, as captured by MrGlen.
As with everything, there are a few contributing reasons, some rather private and sensitive, but the one of them is that after exhaustive research, discussion, and throwing my credit card around like a Frisbee, I've been forced to conclude that the technology to create what's in my head simply doesn't exist yet.
The main factor is my build: I'm naturally slim and was requested to gain at least 10 lb just so I could be put under anaesthetic safely. I didn't mind stuffing myself for two weeks on the understanding that I would naturally return to normal after the surgery, but then I found out that losing weight would make the implants look unnatural- my biggest fear.
I love my body as it is and don't want to sacrifice my health and appearance in order to have natural-looking C cups; it just ain't happening.
Anyone who knows me would guess that I could never have not-perfect breasts. I'm a perfectionist in everything I do, from modelling, to planning Christmas (woo!), to cleaning my bedroom; I guess some would consider it a disease, but I try to channel it into something positive. I thrive on beauty and like to be surrounded by it at all times :)
I totally respect people who choose the artificial stuck-on fake boobs look, because it is a look, and it would be very dull if everyone got cosmetic surgery to look the same as each other, just like it would be boring if everyone dressed the same or dyed their hair the same colour. It's just not for me.
I'm going to spend December rejuvenating, I think; I want to publish my guide to modelling without an agency, re-vamp my website and blog with new ideas, work out, get a massage, clean out my wardrobe, see some inspirational art (MUST see the Izzy Blow exhibition!), spruce up and decorate the house for Christmas (I have an unusual theme in mind for this year!), get my tax return done, and book a fitting with Rigby & Peller, who have been making luxury brassieres since 1939, including for Scarlett Johansson, Lady Gaga and even the Queen! Izzy Blow even used to wear their bras as outerwear. If they can't make a bra I can feel good in, no-one can.
This December, I mostly want to learn how to be true to myself. Knowing yourself not only helps you stride ahead (and in the right direction!) in modelling, but in every single aspect of your whole life. I don't think anyone could receive a greater Christmas gift, and the best thing is, I can give it to myself.
With much love,
Anita xxx
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